Introduction
Hi I’m putting this here so people see. Just talked with Ethan’s mods and they said it’s not a problem for me to post clips and compilations, so no need to comment that I’m a horrible person or anything :)
Thanks to everyone who left comments on my TikTok so that this video could be a thing! Also thanks everyone for watching the Ethan version of this, I did not expect thousands of views on that one!! :O
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Twitter: @crxnkycrew
TikTok: @crankimoo
Check out my other channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UCj6FbJzduQutKdh8rWkBVuQ
Content
Okay, my self-esteem is so high.
I'm no winner in your eyes.
Give me pie was that the bite of 87? No, I grew up poor.
I would only be able to do this by looking in my neighbor's window, because we couldn't afford a tv.
Well, maybe I don't know we're poor children.
Now when I was a child I couldn't afford to do easter eggs.
We couldn't even afford eggs, we had a chicken, but then we had to kill it for our own entertainment dude.
I grew up poor.
We used to core apples day in day out know that my family couldn't afford to go to the beach, so I never actually built the sand castle in my life I am a man who owns five ovens.
Oh everybody, my name is markiplier and welcome.
Don't worry little controller, I won't break you unless you deserve to be broken.
Same goes for all of you.
Oh I'm sorry.
Are we boring you? Are we boring amy? Is that me bored? Oh sorry, yeah the same consistency so you're just really going in with eating the corn water? Oh no, I'm drinking it! Oh mineral water xanthe, I have to fill it back up.
Ah that tastes even worse, watered down water thick and jesus [, __ ].
Look at her.
What the hell! No one told me something to inform you that ethan winters has escaped that fool.
Heisenberg, don't let me down good god, jesus christ.
I think it's supposed to float.
I also think it's supposed to be boiling.
You just uh crisp in the bottom, a little bit no soggy bottoms here.
Okay, you close you're, closed, okay, you're, close yeah all right closed.
Stop, I'm not close! I'm coming yeah! You like that you're close you're, close you're, close you're, close you're close, I'm not gonna, buy a craigslist oven, I'm markiplier [ __ ]! I ain't gonna! Do that! Did you leave cookies and milk out for santa it's? Not it's not christmas! Yet I'll! Do it later! Oh, in my past, I legitimately thought you meant like I've.
So pr hinges on the fact that I actually give a [ __ ] about what you're sending me all right, sour patch, mr patch.
How are the kids I want to be very clear? I am not a sour patch review channel.
I am the sour patch review channel.
So when you come knocking on my door bearing gifts, they better be the best damn gifts.
I've ever eaten in my life and I've been disappointed before mr patch.
Okay, what do we have? Oh yeah, sour patch, kids, wonderful, regular name, brand, sour patch kids.
Nothing special about these they're, a little bigger than your average kid, but not even boxed up a lot of wasted plastic.
You know individually.
Wrapping is not really good for the environment.
Just saying I don't play basketball, but that's okay, not really my mix.
If you don't understand what I do in my spare time, is it mr patch just kind of bland? I'm not even saying this.
Just as a bit like I've been into that, and usually it's like, I don't taste any sour I'll give this bag like a two out of ten um for two flavors, both of which I don't like.
Look, I'm not a man known for taste, but these are literally a walking nightmare.
I can't even look at that.
It hurts my eye.
I would never wear these ever unless it was a costume for a character and it doesn't even smell, like curry, but hey if I ever wanted the people in the international space station to know where I am.
I just put these bad boys on it's like I'm there, I'm the sour patriot.
Now, where did I put now? Where did I put my car keys and then you can understand why I'm not a masochist? Oh that's a butt.
It's a butt! It's a cat, but it's also a butt.
I'm seeing a butt lick.
Seeing are you seeing a butt on that overlay, a butt? On top of that, the two cheeks you seeing that that's a butt? Hey! I ain't.
Judging I ain't, gonna judge! Nobody because hey you! Do you and I'll do me and we won't do each other.
Probably that was a good poem right there.
I knew it.
I'm a genius god, damn it.
My brain is so huge.
My brain is huge god, my throbbing noggin cool, my nog, so throb, my throb nog.
I have to tell the world about my throb nog, hey, siri, call us daddy.
I don't see a father in your contacts.
Yes, mother of god, I am the king of five nights at freddy's, don't tell amy, don't tell hey she's gonna find out.
Don't oh, hey, don't delete me hit me.
Please don't watch this video, I'm gonna! Take my thick ass back to bed.
I'm gonna get an ice pack for my thick ass face and my thick ass ass and I'm just gonna, I'm gonna relax and I'm gonna try to forget that this ever happens.
Well, we didn't discuss price.
Well, you know how about how about a little? I do you do you do me kind of deal it [, __! ]! Excuse me.
As far as tattoos go I mean I didn't say no eric.
I want to ask you a question.
Yes, what did jesus turn water into fish? Nope? Oh [, __, ], yeah, a [, __ ] casual sex is crazy, wrecked that chicken capital r e k t rec apostrophe d wrecked.
Oh, what's that shiny, oh good, me, likey, shiny, shiny, good shiny is the best.
Do you want shiny or you want road? What you want.
You go a or b it multi-choice.
You get choose two.
You can do two of those.
It's two choice.
Do that you like me like too, both good option that lead to alien, don't tell nobody that lead to l.a nuke yeah every die.
No, I I just started flubbing, I'm so boned, I'm boned he's going to kill me he's going to kill me.
Oh my god.
Oh god, I'm boned, oh god, I'm boned, I'm boned! I'm born I'm born.
I'm born I'm on oh [, __ ], I'm so boned so strongly bone.
Perhaps not yeah! That's the one! You need to worry about me.
I just need to worry about me and don't mind the yelling I yell when I'm nervous and that's what we're going to be making today I'd like to welcome to the stage uh, wingus and dingus who's ready to cream.
I agree melted right in oh, I found gum, hi amy.
I love you! Wait! No! I'm trying to wave that wasn't enough! Oh hi amy! I love you.
Okay, welcome back to cards against humanity, I'm joined by ethan and tyler.
That's right! We're here! Yes, they are introduce yourselves hi, I'm ethan, I'm tylor the lord of the ties, I'm not lord of anything, I'm just little old me.
FAQs
What is Markiplier's catchphrase? ›
I don't have a catchphrase. I say [beep]. I say that a lot. That might be my catchphrase.
Who did Markiplier lose to? ›In November, the show was nominated for the Outstanding Interactive Media award at the first-ever Children and Family Emmys, exciting fans across the internet. However, Mark's series was ultimately passed over in favor of Madrid Noir, an animated project for Oculus TV.
Why did he call himself Markiplier? ›He named the channel "Markiplier", a portmanteau of Mark and multiplier, as he would be portraying all the characters in the sketches. Fischbach later said it was a "really dumb name". However, Fischbach also had a lifelong interest in video games and decided to do gaming videos while the trend was growing.
Has Markiplier got ADHD? ›Markiplier was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
What did Markiplier suffer from? ›Markiplier's History of Health Issues
He underwent surgery to remove an adrenal gland tumor, during which his appendix was also removed. In 2021, he was hospitalized for intestinal obstructions, and he had previously suffered a broken foot in 2021.
“I had a tumor in my adrenal gland,” began Markiplier. “I remember being on a table for a CT scan and I was getting a biopsy….. I said omg, this is real, this ain't a joke. And then I got the tumor removed, it was non-cancerous, thankfully.”
Why can't Mark drink alcohol? ›I can't drink because the last time I drank, I had a heart attack.
Why is PewDiePie and Markiplier not friends? ›In a March 2021 video, PewDiePie directly addressed the issue, stating that the two of them simply grew apart over time. When asked about why he stopped making videos with streamer Xebax, he stated that people simply don't stay friends forever. He applied the same logic to Markiplier.
Does Markiplier have anger problems? ›This was not a pleasant experience because it robbed him of control over his body. Markiplier's anger management struggles have influenced his games of choice.
Who is Markiplier's first ego? ›The first official character created by Markiplier for his comedy sketches, Wilford Warfstache is eccentric in every meaning of the word.
What year did Who Killed Markiplier come out? ›
The story begins when The District Attorney (The Viewer) is invited for a poker night at Markiplier Manor, where The Host of the House (Actor Mark) is murdered (thunder strikes). Who Killed Markiplier? (2017) is a first person video series.
What are the best quotes in space with Markiplier? ›"Truth be told, we couldn't afford to show that anyway." "You don't need to know how something works in order to use it." "It's not gonna be like last time, oh no. This time, the Invincible is finally gonna live up to her name!"
What is Markiplier's alter ego? ›Mark Fischbach: Markiplier, Self, Mark, Wilford Warfstache, Darkiplier, Google, Tiny Box Tim, Bim Trimmer, Bing, Dr. Iplier, Ed Edgar, Googleplier, King of the Squirrels, Mark-Fu, Minion, Peach, Septiplier, Silver Shepherd, Slender Man, Superhero Alienplier, The Host, The cats, The cows, The dogs.
What is Markiplier's nickname? › How can I talk to Markiplier? ›Send an email to hello@markiplier.com and tell them what happened and they'll get you a signed one. My guess is that a box of unsigned made its way to fulfillment before I got to it so anyone else getting an unsigned please contact them as well!