Ron Swanson Once Said... YOUR Favourite Ron Swanson Quotes | Parks and Recreation | Comedy Bites (2023)


"i'd work all night if it meant nothing got done" - ron swanson describing my work ethic
Here's some of your favourite Ron Swanson quotes, as polled by the community tab! Whether it's Ron's thoughts on fishing (basically yoga) or the best friend he ever had (they still never talk sometimes) it's here. Did we miss a moment? Let us know in the comments - or check out our post in the community tab!

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Tom and april were excellent witnesses in my defense.

Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie.

There's only one thing: I hate more than lying skim milk, which is water, that's lying about being milk red meat can cause sluggishness, heart disease.

Even impotence has the opposite effect on me.

You ever tried a turkey burger.

Is that a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger? If so, yes, delicious leslie needs to butt out.

The whole point of this country is, if you want to eat, garbage balloon up to 600 pounds, and I have a heart attack at 43.

You can.

You are free to do so to me.

That's beautiful rage, poise property rights, fish for sport, only not for meat fish meat is practically a vegetable just a second hey.

No, no! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Oh my god! I'm sorry everybody! What were we talking about recycling? Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday, but it's always a good idea to demonstrate to your co-workers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain plus.

It's always fun to see tom faint look, a clock.

We don't have that in america.

Oh wow, look at that! You shaved off part of your mustache, that's lovely! I didn't shave it off.

It rubbed off from friction and you're.

Oh and you're, thoughtful and you're, always such a delight to have around.

I am sure you are going to be an incredible mother.

Thanks, larry, that's nice, goodbye anne! I have enjoyed parts of our time together.

Oh, oh god, ron.

That was really something hey.

If you see andy, will you not tell him I'm here? Okay, because of what happened? I don't want him to think.

Stop, don't want to know the less.

I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am I'm not interested in caring about people.

I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name best friend I ever had.

We still never talk, sometimes haircuts.

There are three acceptable: haircuts, high and tight crew cut buzz cut.

Are the scissors broken in your house son ron, you're constructing the stage? Yes, ma'am leslie wanted to hire a contractor to build a stage.

I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable incompetent thief.

Don't go back to sleep? Okay, I need you to wake up ron come on help me attaboy.

I am only here because I owe leslie a thousand favors.

I'm not big on charities, give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself he's a grown man fishing's, not that hard.

Oh, my god, whose baby is that that would be mine guys get in here, run as a baby.

Oh ron, cool baby.

Thank you, andrew everyone.

I'd like to introduce you to my son, john middle name, redacted swanson john, was born some time ago, weighing multiple pounds and several ounces.

Much like his father.

He is a fan of silence.

Please keep your voices down ron you have to help me.

Chris is making me do some stupid management, training leadership course.

Now that you run the animal control department, you have qualified for the chris traeger management, training, seminar or ketumps yeah.

It's not a great acronym, but it is a great seminar.

Can you get me out of it? Yes, normally, if given a choice between doing something and nothing, I choose to do nothing, but I will do something if it helps someone else.

Do nothing.

I'd work all night if it meant nothing got done and I'll have the number eight.

That's a party platter.

It serves 12 people.

I know what I'm about son.

I have cried twice in my life once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus and then again when I heard that little sebastian had passed, his memory will live on as today we light a fire that will burn on for eternity.

Oh my god, if any of you need anything at all too bad deal with your problems, yourselves, like adults, oh hey little, guy, hey! What are you doing? Oh no! Everyone meet your meat.

Oh, oh! No! Why are you doing this to us? Well, in my opinion, not enough people have looked their dinner in the eyes and considered the circle of life.

This is your dinner.

His name is tom bern seriously.

No, I understand that it's hilarious, but that is his given christian name.

Tom is very smart and incredibly loyal, he's basically a dog, a dog, we're going to cook chew and swallow ron, I'm so so sorry, what the were you thinking? I would prefer that she asked me for my permission, so I can say no I like saying no.

It lowers their enthusiasm which one of you youngsters wants to help me drain the blood from this animal.

If you do a good job I'll give you the bladder, you can blow it up for a fun play: ball, hey ron, you're, not gonna, slaughter.

That pig here.

Are you not to worry? I have a permit.

This just says I can do what I want.

I am the director of the parks department and this is a park spending the day outside alone sounds like a dream.

I love being a father, but there are a few things.

I miss silence the absence of noise.

One single moment undisturbed by the sounds of a children's tv program called doc.


There is no quiet anymore.

There is only doc mcstuffins.

The game is absurd.

This gun is lightweight, there's no sight and we are far too close to these deer.

Would they not smell us? I want my money back.

How do I get my quarters? Oh, my god, you are such a sore loser, I'm not a sore loser.

It's just that.

I prefer to win and when I don't, I get furious employee.

I haven't had lunch since yesterday, so I'm gonna head over to callahan's.

Oh, no, no don't go there.

They totally skimp on pickles.

Let me go to bighead joes for you.

They have the most insane burritos.

I don't much go for ethnic food trust me they have one.

That's called the meat tornado literally killed a guy.

Last year you had me at meat tornado.

I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel toe boot, but this hotel always serves bacon-wrapped shrimp.

That's my number one favorite food wrapped around my number three favorite food I'd go to a banquet and honor those somali pirates.

If they serve bacon-wrapped shrimp.

Excuse me come on everybody.

Let's hustle, let's get to the brainstorming great attitude ron.

I just want to get the work over as soon as possible, so I can do some fishing fishing relaxes me.

It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something great news.

Ron jean-ralphio loves your shirt.

What the hell are you talking about? Oh I've been taking pictures of you all day for my new facebook album ron swan getting off the grid tom.

Do you maybe see a problem with what you've done? I do now.

Yes, sorry, erase erase erase erase all pictures of ron erase all pictures of ron erase all pictures of ron what the hell is happening.

He accidentally opened a vine.

You just find your first selfie ron and I'm finding you vine yourself.

The world is a nightmare, erase all pictures you.


What was Ron Swanson's best quote for work? ›

“Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I'd choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I'd work all night if it meant nothing got done.”

What is the best Ron Swanson quote about government? ›

"My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk. And the only thing he's allowed to decide is who to nuke." "Government is inefficient and should be dissolved."

What is Ron Swanson's weakness? ›

To Ron Swanson, sickness is weakness and weakness is death.

What does Ron Swanson say about love? ›

Love is not just about relationships. It is about the the care and affection we choose to give to others. I know that love can be difficult sometimes but that doesn't mean it's not worth it. Love is not always going to be easy.

What is the famous quotes about the power of people? ›

There are few things more powerful than people united. I'm all for fighting tyranny and oppression. People are the most important resource in the world. The power in people is stronger than people in power.

What is a famous government quote? ›

"That government is best which governs least." "The people cannot delegate to government the power to do anything which would be unlawful for them to do themselves." "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” "Violence is the last resort of the incompetent.”

What is a famous quote with the word nation? ›

To survive in peace and harmony, united and strong, we must have one people, one nation, one flag. Every good citizen adds to the strength of a nation. For the nation to live, the tribe must die. The nation which forgets its defenders will be itself forgotten.

What are Ron Swanson's favorite things? ›

Ron enjoys being alone. Ron presents himself with a steely demeanor in the office, however he secretly plays the saxophone as Duke Silver. He also enjoys artichokes, plums, and intense riddles or scavenger hunts.

Who are Ron Swanson's three most important people? ›

Kron Barber Shop - "The three most important people in a man's life are: his barber, his butcher, and his lover." - Ron U. Swanson | Facebook.

What was Ron Swanson's alter ego? ›

He was confident, dry, and serious. It was rare when Leslie Knope and co. saw a lighter, fun side of Ron. As viewers know, however, Ron did enjoy letting loose and having a good time — he just didn't like anyone knowing about it. One of the things he enjoyed most was his undercover alter ego, Duke Silver.

What is the love quote in Parks and Rec? ›

More Parks and Rec love quotes
  • “I'm a simple man. ...
  • “If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?” — ...
  • “I love how independent my wife is, and for that reason, I will not let her speak! ...
  • “I am deeply, ridiculously in love with you. ...
  • “Well, I salsa your face.” — ...
  • “I haven't felt this good in years. ...
  • “Hey, boo.
Feb 6, 2023

What are the two acceptable times to cry Ron Swanson? ›

Ron Swanson : Crying is only okay in two places: funerals and the Grand Canyon.

Who did Ron say he was in love with? ›

In gratitude, Ron said, “I love you, Hermione.” It wasn't out of love, at least at that point of time, at least for Ron, although Hermione did blush.

What is the most famous line of all time? ›

A jury consisting of 1,500 film artists, critics, and historians selected "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn", spoken by Clark Gable as Rhett Butler in the 1939 American Civil War epic Gone with the Wind, as the most memorable American movie quotation of all time.

What did Ron Weasley always say? ›

To celebrate Ron's existence (and his birthday), here are 25 of our favorite Ron Weasley quotes. “Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough.” “There's a time and a place for getting a smart mouth.” “If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us too!”

What is Ron's emotional range quote? ›

Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon

A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, 'One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode.

What is Ron Weasley ridiculous spell? ›

He recites: "Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid, fat rat yellow." Unfortunately for Ron, the rat doesn't turn yellow and Hermione instantly shows him up by magically repairing Harry's glasses.

What is Ron's favorite spell? ›

Other Favorite Spells

Plus, there were some votes for Obliviate (erases memory), Silencio (silences someone or something), Homonculus Charm (reveals someone's true identity and location), and Levioso (levitation, and some fans say that this is Ron Weasley's signature spell).

What is the famous spell of Ron Weasley? ›

9 Ron Weasley: Stupefy / Wingardium Leviosa

When in combat, Ron's go-to, and probably favorite, spell would have to be Stupefy. This spell is meant to stun your opponent.

What's the most powerful quote? ›

  1. 21 Of The World's Most Powerful Quotes, Updated For Today. ...
  2. “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” ...
  3. “Everybody is a genius. ...
  4. “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” ...
  5. “He who fears he will suffer, already suffers because he fears.”

What are 5 famous quotes? ›

Famous quotes in English
That's one small step for a man, a giant leap for mankind.Neil ArmstrongEnglish
The love of money is the root of all evil.the BibleGreek
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.Franklin D. RooseveltEnglish
The truth will set you free.the BibleGreek
54 more rows

What are some quotable quotes? ›

Famous quotes in English
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.Albert Einstein
May the Force be with you.Star Wars (many characters)
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.Eleanor Roosevelt
Not all those who wander are lost.J. R. R. Tolkein
54 more rows

What is a quotable quote? ›

[ kwoh-tuh-buhl ] show ipa. adjective. able to be quoted or easily quoted, as by reason of effectiveness, succinctness, or the like: the most quotable book of the season. suitable or appropriate for quotation: His comments were hilarious but unfortunately not quotable.

What are some inspirational quotes for government? ›

People shouldn't be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people. I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.

What are the most patriotic quotes of all time? ›

Theodore Roosevelt

"I am an American; free born and free bred, where I acknowledge no man as my superior, except for his own worth, or as my inferior, except for his own demerit."

What is Ron Swanson's drink of choice? ›

Ron Swanson is the Parks & Recreation fictional character and director of the Pawnee parks department, who loves woodworking and Lagavulin 16 Single Malt scotch whisky.

What does Ron Swanson believe in? ›

A staunch libertarian, with a distinctive mustache, Ron is an extremely strong advocate for small government. Despite working in a city hall job, he believes all government is a waste of taxpayer money.

What is Ron Swanson's favorite steak? ›

“I call this turf 'n' turf. It's a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Also, whisky and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at once because I am a free American.”

What is Ron Swanson's favorite food? ›

Bacon-wrapped shrimp ("my No. 1 favorite food, wrapped around my No.

Is Ron Swanson liberal or conservative? ›

Ron Swanson is a character from the popular sitcom Parks and Recreation. He is portrayed as a staunch libertarian who deeply values his privacy and independence.

Who was Ron Swanson based on? ›

An interesting theory was put forth on a "Simpsons" message board recently: Ron Swanson, the gruff city manager portrayed by Nick Offerman on "Parks and Recreation," may be based on John Swartzwelder, a writer for "The Simpsons" who is largely credited with helping give the show its unique voice.

What does Ron Swanson eat for breakfast? ›

Ron Swanson – Bacon and Eggs

Bacon and eggs are no nonsense just like Ron. A simple, classic breakfast for a simple, classic man.

Is Ron Swanson an alpha male? ›

A man of few words, but salient wisdom, Swanson is the alpha male and north star on the beloved NBC sitcom (whose fifth season concludes tonight at 9:30 ET) and informed more than a little by the 42-year-old actor himself.

Who is the opposite of Ron Swanson? ›

Ron Dunn (played by Sam Elliott) is Ron Swanson's counterpart from Eagleton. Almost the mirror opposite of Ron Swanson, Dunn is a hippie and a vegan.

What is the lemonade quote in Parks and Rec? ›

Jean-Ralphio : When life gives you lemons, you sell some of your grandma's jewelry and you go clubbin'.

What is the waffles quote in Parks and Rec? ›

We need to remember what's important in life. Friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. It doesn't matter.

What was the wedding quote in Parks and Rec? ›

I promise to protect you from danger, even when it's because we jumped into something stupid together. And when times are tough for me and I feel like I hate everything in the world, I promise not to hate you. Taken from the NBC Parks & Recreation Pinterest board for Ben & Leslie's wedding.

What does crying for 3 hours do? ›

Crying for long periods of time releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, otherwise known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals can help ease both physical and emotional pain. Once the endorphins are released, your body may go into somewhat of a numb stage. Oxytocin can give you a sense of calm or well-being.

What is the rule for cry cries? ›

If a word ends in a 'consonant + y', change the 'y' to 'i' when adding an ending, e.g. 'cry-cries', 'merry-merrier/merriest', 'hurry-hurried' The final 'y' does not change to 'i' when adding the ending '-ing', e.g. 'cry-crying'

Is it healthy to cry for 2 hours straight? ›

Severe grief or disruption can cause anyone to cry, and that's normal. Prolonged crying that persists without reason is not normal and may indicate a serious condition requiring treatment.

Who was the girl who was obsessed with Ron? ›

Lavender Brown is Ron Weasley's love interest in "The Half-Blood Prince." Warner Bros. Cave featured most prominently as Lavender in "The Half-Blood Prince," where her character becomes infatuated with Rupert Grint's Ron Weasley and engages in a very pubic, PDA-filled relationship.

Was Ron attracted to Hermione? ›

He Didn't Realize He Liked Her Until Way Later

Ron was usually late to the show, and he was late in realizing he had full-on feelings for Hermione as well. He first felt jealousy in Goblet of Fire, but these were misunderstood feelings which he only got to understand by Half-Blood Prince.

Why was Ron attracted to Hermione? ›

According to Mental Floss, Rowling said that Hermione and Ron are equally matched and good for each other because of their personalities. She said, “[They] are drawn to each other because they balance each other out.

What is the famous saying about work? ›

Some of the best motivational quotes for work include: “Quality means doing it right when no one is looking.” by Henry Ford, “It always seems impossible until it's done.” by Nelson Mandela, and a Chinese proverb that says, “Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those doing it.”

What is the greatest work in the home quote? ›

The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes.

What is Ron Burgundy's famous line? ›

"You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?" In addition to now thinking that San Diego might be one of the classiest cities around, Ron's funny way of questioning his own name due to a teleprompter mistake will forever be in our minds. "Where did you get those clothes, at the toilet store?" Ooh, burn Brick!

Who said the most important work you will ever do? ›

The most important work you will ever do is within the walls of your own home. Harold B Lee | Great quotes, Family relationships, Quotes.

What are 5 famous Quotes? ›

Famous quotes in English
That's one small step for a man, a giant leap for mankind.Neil ArmstrongEnglish
The love of money is the root of all evil.the BibleGreek
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.Franklin D. RooseveltEnglish
The truth will set you free.the BibleGreek
54 more rows

What are three famous Quotes? ›

Quotes by Famous People
  • The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - ...
  • The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. - ...
  • Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. ...
  • If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor. -
Apr 6, 2023

What are the 5 positive Quotes? ›

Short motivational quotes
  • “Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.” — ...
  • “Opportunities don't happen, you create them.” — ...
  • “Love your family, work super hard, live your passion.” — ...
  • “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” —
Dec 1, 2022

What is an important quote from fun home? ›

The more gratification we found in our own geniuses, the more isolated we grew.

What is a quote about working a lot? ›

FAQ: Hard work pays off quotes
  • “Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.” ...
  • “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.” ...
  • “Chop your own wood and it will warm you twice.” ...
  • “Work hard in silence, let success be your noise.” ...
  • “Nothing will work unless you do.” ...
  • “The big talent is persistence.”
Nov 30, 2022

What is the quote about work and play? ›

The maxim is often quoted: "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy." But all play and no work makes him something worse. The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.

What is a famous quote from the movie The Breakfast Club? ›

  • Claire Standish: You know why guys like you knock everything?
  • John Bender: Oh, this should be stunning.
  • Claire Standish: It's because you're afraid.
  • John Bender: Oh God, you richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy into activities.
  • Claire Standish: You're a big coward.
  • Brian Johnson: I'm in the math club.

What are some quotes from the best we can do? ›

Proximity and closeness are not the same. Maybe being their child simply means that I will always feel the weight of their past. To understand how my father became the way he was, I had to learn what happened to him as a little boy.

What is the most important work you will ever do is within? ›

“The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home.” Harold B. Lee said.

Who made the quote do the best you can? ›

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." Maya Angelou.

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