SHOW NOTES: In the MYTH WARRIORS™ series we are targeting ideas to begin to assess whether they are credible or not (i.e., they are a myth, fallacy or even a lie). The target for this episode is, “What does not kill me, makes me stronger.” - Friedrich Nietzsche (1888)
If you want some background on the author of the quote, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy which is by The Metaphysics Research Lab, Center for the Study of Language and Information (CLSA) at Stanford University, has a primer at plato.stanford.edu/entries/nietzsche/ .Many people recognize our topic as it has been addressed in modern popular culture (by music releases by Kelly Clarkson and Kanye West among others). The issue is what do you think?
Do you think that we should make choices even if they increase our potential for pain and distress because the pain only “makes us stronger?” Or, should we examine our lives and our behavior to assess what steps we can take today to place us in a safer and more comfortable position tomorrow? If I pay my [...]
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© Courtney Anderson Enterprises LLC
Welcome to solutions with Courtney Anderson I am your host Courtney Anderson.
Today we have a show that is part of our Miss Warriors series and, of course the myth.
Warrior series is where we you and I we put on.
We done our battle gear, we are armored, we are ready to get out there and to fight to defend ourselves and we're going on offensive as a myth warrior.
Initially, what we're going to do is attack figuratively a concept or idea.
That's out there and we're going to try to determine.
Is this something that's accurate and incredible? Something that I should you know potentially accept, is valid in my life and make decisions based on or is it something that might in fact be a fallacy, a myth, a lie, even though our specific show episode title today is what does not kill me makes me stronger and that's it.
What we're trying to determine is that concept is that is that idea? Is it a myth? Is it a myth? Is it a falsehood? Is it a lie and untruth fallacy that what does not kill me makes me stronger or is it? Is it is it more likely actually accurate? Is it something that we might actually have that might be valid in our lives and something that we might ascribe to as we as we make decisions, and always always always? We are trying to determine what is holding us back from surpassing our goals and we're also focused on.
How can we be joyful? Can we practice our professional activities while remaining joyful? So how do we do that unless we have a good idea? What's going on in life, is? Is this idea accurate? Is this idea alive? We don't know, we've got a dawn, our warrior outfit or uniform sari uniform and we've got to get out there and find out investigate, see what's going on, so this concept of what does not kill me makes me stronger.
The best of my understanding is derived at least in the modern culture.
The utilization of it from some would call this philosopher, but if nothing else, certainly the the thinker, friedrich nietzsche and I was from a work- was written in 1888 by him published the following year in 1889 and so that this idea here is you know what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
We see that and and really in pop modern culture.
I certainly as I was putting together.
The show notes for today was reminded: oh okay.
Certainly there was a.
This concept has been in many different types of popular media, but in recent times and popular music I have a popular artist, Kelly, Clarkson, sort of known as the popular music or pop artist certainly had music talking, whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger and then also Kanye West, which is a hip hop artist.
So we see this out here in popular culture if it Kanye, West and Kelly Clarkson are talking about, in addition, of course, to many other, more more kind of find the right word, academic approaches, certainly in philosophy and in lots of different areas of academic research and analysis, but I'm just throwing it out there for people who aren't familiar with their origins of this idea and maybe only heard about in a pop song, it actually comes from.
Certainly we could agree at least someone who's known for their thoughts and and that certainly what Nietzsche is known for now, whether or not you know what your personal interpretation is of of his thoughts.
You certainly can't deny that for one person who lived a relatively short time, he had a lot of ideas that he sort of put forward into the world and that all this you know all this time later, relatively speaking and in terms of the human lifespan, at least these concepts that sort of permeated into popular culture.
So the beginning of this I I, put in the show notes just a link to sort of a and ferd university sort of.
You know short note version.
If you've not ever heard of this writer thinker, he was a professor need see, then you know read up on him, because it's always great, as we go along our journey in life, to try to understand where, where do ideas come from, and I think it's really great when you can sort of start to connect the dots and see okay, well, this something that this person did or wrote or discovered or proposed, is now then sort of utilized in a different generation in a different part of the world.
And it's neat.
The other thing I think, is always interesting when we kind of do shows like this and and I've done a couple of them and we'll continue to do more, is you know, there's sort of suchanek you know, depending on who you are where you live, and your age and your you know culture and your family background and your experiences.
We also did different expectation of what we sort of think is basic knowledge um.
So there are many people who would say.
Oh my gosh, you know who doesn't who didn't know.
You know where this quote.
Originally, you know came from and who wouldn't have already, you know been familiar with the work of nietzsche.
Well, a lot of people are, on the other hand, I I mentioned.
You know some of the more recent popular music artists who come up.
Who've used a similar sentiment and their music of whether it's a Kanye West or a Kelly Clarkson, and there are others and people who would say well.
Who are they and other people say? Well? How do you not know this so I think part of what sometimes holds us back in life from being able I think to learn from each other? Is one we just we're not willing to sort of go outside of our comfort zone and we sort of think well.
Whatever our life experience is, and whatever our knowledge base is, is sort of what's normal and then we sort of make assumptions when we enter and interact with other people.
We read about other people and we think well.
How do they not know that? Well because they don't there are things they know that you don't know so, whenever I put together the shows I'm, not you know, these are for sort of general consumption, so I try to do.
You know what I can to to not just sort of make references and not either address it or put a link, try to do some sort of even nominal explanation.
I do this and programs - and presentations, keynotes and speeches and I've actually people times get frustrated with me and say you know.
Why are you telling us this? You think you need to explain who some of these people are, or some of the things that you're talking about? What do you think I am stupid? Are you talking down to me? No, it's the exact opposite.
It's because they're, especially you know the larger the room and the more diverse the the audience.
Not everybody has the same experience that everybody's read the same things or experience the same things and I know for myself as an audience, member I always get frustrated when I'm, you know sitting in an audience, as somebody starts talking about something and I'll give you a real easy concrete example.
A lot of people use sports stories and metaphors when they're, when they're giving you know sort of presentations and keynote speeches which is fine and great the challenges they make the assumption that everybody in the room knows all the the terminology and understands all of the rules of that individual sport and and and I've said in I.
Can you know I can't tell you how many of these types of programs, where I'm sitting there and that person's telling is really elaborate? You know it seems really interesting story, but they're using it through this sort of sports terminology and language, but because I don't know the sport sporting terms, I don't get it, and so what would have been really helpful is if the person who was speaking didn't make the assumption that everybody in that room, you know, plays golf or everybody in that room.
You know, plays cricket or everybody in that room you know, plays you know, baseball everybody in that room plays.
You know, American football, because you make that assumption and depend less you're at an event where, literally it's like a room of people that hey we're all you know, professional golfers, Levin yeah, then of course use the terminology, but if it's more of a general audience and don't make these assumptions and when I'm making the argument here as if it's the same thing with these types of programs or anything else in life, I'd rather spend a few minutes trying to explain.
You know at least generally what something is, or you know, put in a link to some other resources than to not do that and have people sit there, who don't understand the story and don't get to the point.
So that's why I do that? It's never for anything other than I've been on the other end of this.
You know sitting somewhere listening to something or watching something and thinking I'm not a clue what they're talking about that doesn't mean I'm, the largest.
You know idiot on the planet.
It just means, you know: hey I, don't play that sport or I've.
Never, you know, I, don't know the terminology about that thing, because I don't do it that doesn't make me a horrible person, it's just the reality.
So when we talk about this quote, that's our show basis.
What doesn't kill me makes me stronger part of why I we do this at the beginning is when we do myth warriors, especially when we get the content from a quote.
We just did one of these recently on American politician, Barbara Jordan, we explained who that is a little bit.
We put some links in in the in the show notes, because not everybody knows and that's awesome if we, if everybody in the world knew everything and was all identical, which is all new the same sports, we all read the same books.
We all tell you the same classes.
First of all would be an incredibly boring world and- and secondly, we would mean it there would be a very limited body of knowledge and diversity.
So that's why we do that this and in this program and all the other programs I do I put in these information, and it may seem a bit silly to people who think well who doesn't know that duh, but not everybody knows the same thing, so I've been in the room where I don't know what's going on, I would have appreciated if somebody had taken just a little bit of time to kind of clue me in or explain what the the terminology, in a way that everybody could relate, and so the idea here is that I'm going through my life well life and things happen.
Some things happened very early in life.
I, don't remember when it happened, it might've happened.
I was a very young child, maybe an even an infant, but as I'm as I'm moving through life I'm aware of things, things are happening.
Look at that now I'm getting older, now, I'm much more aware of it.
My memory is recording that this thing is happening, it's happening, and so, where the idea here is these things happen, but if it doesn't kill me right, which is somewhat obviously at least well.
Let me be clear: let me stop there.
Whatever we're talking about you know, philosophy and some of these ideas.
It could become.
Actually you know not obvious, but let's just be very literal, let's be literal in terms of killing me and a literal physical manifestation of my human origins as I'm existing as a as an independent entity, meaning I'm not on a breathing machine but I'm independently, breathing I'm independently.
You know thinking I'm independently able to maintain sort of my bodily function, so we're going to call that alive and we're going to come up with this idea that, if something hasn't kill me I'm, meaning I'm, literally not dead right so I'm by death by my body function, cease to continue unassisted, so I'm not able to continue breathing right.
My heart's not able to continue pumping at some point, then the whole, my whole sort of physical body will shut down we're going to use that as death, so I'm not getting into sort of a philosophical or spiritual angle at all I'm, just talking about in the dimension as I understand it in the person that I am if this body stops I'm dead.
Looking at it.
From that perspective, the idea that we're looking at to see is it a myth or is it something? That's you know really accurate? Perhaps we can go ahead and make decisions in our life based on the idea.
Here is if I'm not dead right, it didn't, kill me, then I'm stronger again we're going to use sort of a very kind of common idea of stronger.
You know stronger tougher, more resilient longer-lasting able to handle.
You know stress, better we're going to just use that strength.
So the idea here is whatever it is.
That thing, okay didn't kill me, which I would know because then I wouldn't be thinking and breathing I'd be dead, at least in this physical sense, but so I'm not dead, I'm.
Aware of that, because I'm able to breathe and talk and maintain my human interaction in the body as I know, it said the idea here is that hey I, guess potentially there's a benefit to whatever these things.
Are that happen, because I'm stronger look at that? So usually we think about this in the context of something negative happening.
We don't normally think you know it didn't, kill me right.
I had an awesome birthday party I'm, not dead, I'm, just better I'm stronger or you know, I got the greatest promotion at work.
Yay I'm, not dead, Abuk made me stronger.
We don't usually associate this this concept, whether it's from the original author's perspective, is or from different interpretations and other parts of you know pop culture or other philosophers and other scholars.
What I need to think about this with something you know awesome positive, because normally we think some awesome happened, but yeah I mean I, think I'm stronger, because I got a promotion or mind I.
You know stronger because I had a you know, really great birthday party I might just think you know it was great.
You know, um I, don't usually think in terms of you know my weaker and my stronger and I think the idea here that we could you know at least many of us understand the idea that those who perceive this to apply only to negative situations.
Is it's not really logical that if something super you know great happens and I'm sitting around thinking about it, my stronger or weaker, because of it normally just it's great.
So the idea here is less like opposite right, something negative happened or in the absence of something negative, nothing happened, so you know there's a debate.
What's the worst thing, is it getting fired or just you know, staying forever in the same monotonous, you know low-paying repetitive place, I, don't know, but it's the absence of something great right.
So it could either be something bad or it could be just nothing at all, just mindless repetition, but the idea is that I'm not looking at something that I would in any way characterize is good and the idea here is yeah, but I'm not dead right.
You didn't, kill me and now I'm stronger by it.
As a consequence of this thing happening.
Look at me, look how much stronger I am I'm resilient.
My skin is tougher.
Sometimes you know not just figuratively, but literally a lot of people who work.
You know work with their hands or work with their bodies and physical jobs.
They will they'll get you know.
There's their skin literally will become.
You know, sticker with calluses, because they're out constantly utilizing their body, especially the elements or something of that nature.
So you know we can you almost understand well, yeah.
They literally their skin is thicker, or at least its calloused and able to handle.
You know the elements a little bit better.
Maybe then somebody who has very little exposure to that type of environment.
Alright, that's that's something we can sort of perceive.
The question is: should we look at life and think? Okay, something not great happened.
It could be in fact just tician boredom monotony or it could be.
Even you know something bad right.
So then I you know, I'm, unemployed and I.
Have no money or I thought I thought that you know my spouse cared about me, but they turns out.
They lied and you know they've cheated on me and left me or um.
Don't you know the people person I cared most about in the world that was so special to me.
It you know, has suffered or died, and so now I have all these negative consequence.
And so the idea is here that I guess we're trying to see should I look at things that happen.
You know that are that are not great and they got.
You know what dopes didn't kill me still here.
You know and beyond the fact that I'm alive right, I'm still breathing I mean my heart.
Still beating is look at this.
You know I'm stronger I'm better for this.
This is interesting as I was going to the show, notes and thinking about this concept and trying to come up with my position on on that on the episode, I went and read some psychological articles explaining different sort of psychological experiments or studies to try to see what what happens, let's say, basically kind of looking at it from their perspective.
Let's take the person, who's had lots.
Multiple things happen in their life that are not great, that sort of categorically we could many people determined to be a negative right, so you know death, you know: disease or illness, poverty, abuse, neglect and and and so we'll take those people and sort of look at them and kind of determine you know.
Does the person who had you know 15 of these really, you know horrible things happen.
Are they stronger and it is that strength and asset I've shared that I've had the opportunity and my wife to work with a variety of people and, of course, my own life experiences but I.
Certainly in the legal system, I've worked with people whose family of origin situation is so full of problems that the government actually will come in and take away a minor child they'll, take them away I'm, either their biological parents or they're the caregivers, whoever they're living with due to abuse, neglect things of that nature, and it happens very rarely statistically.
So the government just go too.
You know every three houses down and they just take all the kids I mean that's not the best of my understanding at all.
What happens in United States the people who get caught up any systems, meaning they do have a case, perceive that the government is bothering you all the time, but typically these things start because somebody reports it and it's usually not the child.
So it's usually somebody at the child's school says you know: I saw bruises.
If I you know the child had a lot of injuries it you know, I think the child might be physically abuse or I was witnessing behavior from the child having the child may be sexually abused.
Sometimes the report comes from mandatory reporting entities, meaning there's laws in the United States in many many parts of the country, if not most, where someone goes to a hospital or medical treatment facility and the medical provider realizes.
My goodness I think this person's you know a victim of violence or sexual abuse, then they will.
They will call the government agencies actually required to it's mandatory.
They report it.
So you know it's usually an adult from somewhere, not always, but usually an adult from somewhere.
It could be just a concerned neighbor just whoever, but you know, calls the authorities and the authorities come out and start trying to decide.
You know, do an investigation and they've.
You know protocols and whatnot and- and the question is, is that person stronger and I guess? Is that strengthened and asset? So when I look at some of the sort of broadly disseminated psychological research in this area, of course, there's some research that says we'll get right.
You get the same ideas like getting that callus right, your your hands or callus and kind of but you're do have you know the ability? Is this was straight, may be an asset in some situations, depending on what you're doing, but a lot of what I looked at and, in my own personal opinion, is this the more that you pile on and one person's life of these really negative situations at some point and I would argue sooner rather than later.
This idea that they become stronger is not accurate and I'm arguing, since this is a myth, warriors episode and we're trying to determine.
Is this a myth, I'm going to argue that that it actually is? You know, there's interesting research that I was looking at sort of comparing people who pretty much have nothing.
You know that we could objectively call really bad happen.
You know so they've never been abused and never been neglected, they'd never been sexually assaulted, they've never had you know, they've never been had situations, they didn't have enough food or nutrition, and you compare that person, who's kind of had almost nothing bad happen, and then you look at the person.
Who's had a whole bunch of bad things happen, so their family of origin was was not safe.
You know they were.
They were abused, you know physically mentally emotionally sexually, they were you know they were removed.
Sometimes they go to better situations and they could be in a safer environment.
Sometimes I go to situations, or you know, is equally bad or sometimes even worse.
You know so who's better off, right, who's, stronger I think that one of the things that struck me and sort of reading through some of this very simplistic.
You know explanation of trying to look at the idea: try to examine what we're doing right.
They were doing some different psychological perspectives, or at least they were interpreting the data from from different research.
From this perspective, one of the things I read that that was interesting is they were talking about people who train animals and specifically dogs, for you know military or law enforcement.
So often the you know, the dog is using their sensory since the smell and they're trained, just you know, smell out, you know drugs or they're trained to sense about smell.
You know things that might be using explosives things this nature, and so they were saying you know the handler who works with you know.
The trained dogs was basically saying you.
You might think that you know a great animal, the great dog first, you you know to train and in law enforcement or train.
The military would be this.
You know a dog, that's lived out on the street.
The dog, that's you know was a stray, was abandoned.
You know, that's, you know bit out there with no no water and just sort of fought their way through life and was found somewhere and now we rescued that dog, and we that that was all will be tough right.
Like that's the dog, you want to go deal with somebody who's.
You know maybe going out to sea.
Potentially there might be, you know, resistance from somebody from law enforcement or from the military.
So they were say.
Maybe you would think that dog would be a great dog right.
That dog has no fear dogs been out, you know and knows how tough life is right.
That dog, oh yeah, I've, been abandoned and you know almost killed.
Who knows how many times right? I was emaciated and I've been attacked physically, but yeah I'm here you know that maybe that would be the best dog.
You know that you want to train and have, as your you know, as your canine companion, any types of work environments but the.
But the person was saying.
That's absolutely not true.
That's that that, basically they were saying that the person who's been through, so much of trauma is traumatized.
The dog is that's been taught through.
Trauma is traumatized and because of they're, so traumatized they're unpredictable right, which makes sense.
You know one of the things and we've talked about it in some other settings and certainly will continue to.
Is the you know, sort of the lingering ramifications of trauma whether it's you know you're at work, and you were in a you, know: law, enforcement or military environment, or you just and on you know you were to fear in the retail environment and something awful happened.
You know there was a workplace violence incident.
What happens to people who suffer trauma, and the idea is that through many people there are long lingering manifestations of the trauma, and so the idea that the animal trainer was saying, look I, don't want that dog he's been out and been through a lot of trauma, because that dog is so difficult for me to predict how they're going to react to something.
You know that the end.
Why is the dog so difficult? Well, you know we're not dog right, we're not able to get in their heads necessarily and ask them and interview them, but the best of our understanding is that you know the consequences of being treated poorly of maltreatment.
Often, is that the the person or the dog who was the victim? It's never really confident or sure, they're not calm, because they're not really sure.
If something that seems like it be safe for a little bit is going to turn violent and so there they might react in ways that you would think that doesn't make any sense.
There was no threat there at all, but to the to the to the dog.
That's been traumatized.
Often they they're trying to protect themselves, but they their world is unstable, so they react in ways.
It may seem unstable, but it seems, but it's rational to them, because bad things have happened, what they didn't expect it.
This is not the greatest analogy and I know for all the animal behaviorists and everyone else in the hard sciences I'm oversimplify things, but in the context of the purpose of these programs, there's a reason for it.
You see it with people who've been through multiple traumas or ongoing traumas in life, yeah, probably the person who said.
Maybe you know one or two things happen in our life.
You know that aren't great.
It gives them a little bit of resilience, but the more you keep you know piling on that person's plate.
You know sort of their plate in life.
You know, okay, you had this family of origin challenge, okay and- and there was a physical abuse, okay and then also on top of that, a couple you know a little bit later in life.
You had sexual abuse, okay and then a little bit later than that, you know you had a situation where you had.
You know you were just living on the streets with no steady food and no shelter.
You know the more you pile on someone's plate.
You don't just tend to get this stronger, stronger, stronger, stronger, more successful, happier, more joyful person.
You tend to get in many instances, if not most somebody who is constantly trying to predict what's going to happen in there and they've had so many things happen that were traumatic, they think they're protecting themselves and they might say in do things that seem odd and counterproductive to somebody on the outside.
They think why are they so sensitive? Why? Why do they overreact? Like that? You know all I, all I did was say: I'm, sorry, you know I bumped into them and they act like they're going to hit me.
Well, maybe they did that, because they've experienced in their lives or people, you know sort of acted like they were bumping into them and they really, you know, turn around and beat them up, and maybe that was someone that was close to them, a relative or a caregiver, and so it sort of changes, your ability to make decisions being exposed to continual trauma and then again back to the dog trainer argument is they said the best dog that they want to train to come work with them in the military or law enforcement or anything else they will different industries and businesses is the dog that was, you, know, calm, healthy and very stable, and typically that's one that they've raised from you know the earliest.
You know from the time the the pup was born, ideally because then they know that it's been never been in these environments where it's been traumatized, and that is a predictable dog to work with, because the dog has trust right.
The dog trusts the humans, the doctors, the other dogs and the dog is easier to be able to communicate their needs and they can train them in the dog is reliable.
X is a dog feel safe with humans is the more traumatized we are, then the less safe we feel now.
Are we able as humans, to make changes in our life and make decisions and say, okay I'm going to you know, obtain whatever skills are at or education or certification that I need so that I can go out and and and earn a living and protect myself and get safety in my shelter and make sure that I'm not around? You know abusive or violent people as an adult yeah.
We can do that and many many many many many people do, but what they're typically doing is as they're as they're getting older is they're they're, creating that safe environment, but they're usually also have pretty serious boundaries about about trust and who they let into their home or who they, you know, share their their feelings with it's because they've come through trauma and what they're trying to do is stop putting more trauma on their plate, and so this myth I'm arguing a myth.
You know the idea: what didn't kill me I'm still here, look, how much stronger I am I, think, maybe for one or two or a couple of things in life, well, yeah right, because if you've never had anything negative happen, and you know your whole like nothing ever happened, negative and then one time you know you, you hurt your finger and it hurt really bad and you cried.
You know the doctors, only time I've ever ridden the doctor and I hurt really bad.
Then yeah, you might seem like you're overreacting, because that you've never had anything.
You know horrible lesson.
Horrible thing that ever happened to is the time you hurt your finger, so you know that maybe somebody who doesn't have the best resilience, maybe the the comest ability to adjust to change right.
So there's that part of it, somebody's, never I, think to happen but absent.
That which is you know somewhat rare.
The rest of us I think we owe it to ourselves to make decisions in our lives so that we do not add anything else, traumatic or painful.
If we have any control so yes, can we be get going about our lives, making good choices, oh I'm, eating well I feel good about myself I'm working hard.
Oh my gosh.
There was a earthquake well sure, but if you were doing all those other things right, then, even though the horrible bad thing happened earthquake.
But since you know you had the job, you had a safe place to live, you know you had some insurance.
You had a little bit of saving, so yeah the bad things will happen, but you had some some other decisions that you made ahead of time.
That made the consequence less negative.
If you're, in a situation where literally you don't have anywhere to live in you're homeless, you know and then there's a requite, then it's gonna.
It's still equally horrible the earthquake, but your situation was already so precarious.
So my argument is: don't buy into this, don't say to yourself: well, oh, that was it was horrible, but well you know I'm stronger I'm, not going to look at any of my choices.
I'm not gonna, examine any decisions that I make.
You know make me in my last three marriages.
You know ended in horrible disagreement and painful divorce, but you know I'm going for marriage number four, even though I've only known this person, you know for three weeks, but they seemed great.
No, no stop and look at what your choices are.
Look at your life.
Are you do feel that you created safety? Do you feel that you created options and when, if something bad happens, whether it's economically or emotionally, or just your physical space, if you're, if you have bad things happen, of course, none of us can control natural disasters and a lot of the things that happen or totally beyond our control.
But there are people who get into destructive patterns where they keep making choices and really bad things happen, but they refused to change their decision-making process because they keep.
You know the argument is: hey, hey, didn't film, it it made me stronger, did it so, as we close this show I strongly encourage you to look at your life when you talk to other people and they start telling you well, you know um.
You know it made me stronger, okay, well, yeah! If it's, how did we all react to the flash flood that happened in our town? You know last week: okay, let's have a discussion, but if it's someone who is telling you about you know my goodness, you know they drink alcohol and then they drove a vehicle, but you know, and they were scared- they might be arrested, but they weren't and so they're going to do it again that that's it's true, it didn't kill you, and maybe you didn't even kill anybody else.
But how about discarding this idea that it's making you stronger as a myth, which is what I've proposed and working on a plan that what is what doesn't kill you you're, either going to become wiser, so you're going to learn from it or you're just going to be grateful that you're not dead and you're, going to continue on your path, just surpassing your goals and practicing adroit Florida business with safe, pragmatic plans to try to create the best possible outcome for yourself really really employees to think about this again, as we close.
My argument is this: this is a myth.
I might have killed me, but piling more and more and more and more negative outcomes on my plate in life is not necessarily going to get me to a point where I'm stronger I'm happier are more resilient, are more joyful.
It's probably just going to exhaust me and get me so traumatized at some point.
I start making, even you know, really really negative decisions so again to treat yourself well be kind to yourself, create the safest, most comfortable environment you possibly can and let's move forward in that direction.
If you have any questions are always to stay in contact, you can come to courtney.
I appreciate you so much for joining me today.